Influence

Diana, I’ve tried many times to put this girl in my past but I always just meet with failed attempts. There are aspects of this short dark caramel colored female that are unique, not just to my situation but socially in general. I fell hard for her. Hard. The reason, how this outcome came to be is unknown to me. She is not attractive and very average looking. Her body is very well shaped but aside from that, seriously, I doubt she’s turning heads, but this girl has my heart at request. It’s actually very sad. I’ve never felt anything like what I feel for her but strangely, I know very little of her. I’ve known her for about 6 years, and talked to her very often but if you were to ask me, “who are her best friends, where does she hang out school, what is she like with her friends, and what are some of her hobbies are?” I wouldn’t know how to respond. I don’t exactly know how so much time passed by and I never question her life details but it did happen and this girl is kind of one of the mysteries in my life that questioned my ability to hold healthy relationships.
My father wasn’t an amazing parent but his action and disciplines have sculpted the person I am today. He always ruled our household with an iron fist and I disliked him a lot for it, but honestly if it wasn’t for that pressure to be great sons, I would have not grown to have the disciplines I have today such as abstaining from drugs and alcohol with little effort. My father isn’t perfect and he didn’t leave our home in good terms but he did leave his morals embedded in my person and I appreciate that.
I can’t say that I’m easily influenced but if I was influenced a bit by a 3rd person it would have to be by my brother. I don’t know why but I always strived to be better than 6’1 dark guy. He didn’t do much around the house but every once in a while he’d come up with something very artistic that made me think, “Well at least he isn’t just sitting there at home.” He would take some of the craziest pictures, draw some really neat portraits, or come up with some mean solos. I liked who he was but he could have always done more to help out with chores around the house and yard. In contrast, I was always pretty artistic myself, and I dedicated a lot of time to our family’s household but I feel like the yarning to be better than him generated that discipline as well as my own will.